Ghost Town (1988)

 

The Dean Martin Christmas Show (1968)

    From the very first moment you can tell this special doesn’t really give a fuck. It opens with Martin in a white sweater making sideways eyes at the camera while a chorus implores us to “look at that fabulous face of love.” He mugs a bit and rolls his eyes as the makeup people glue a Santa getup to his face then tug him into a Santa suit. The camera pulls back to reveal the show’s set and more Santas pile into frame. All of the other Santas have creepy masks on and there’s a very odd moment when it’s clear that Martin ducks away from frame behind the set and a maskless Santa very obviously takes his place as they all break into a dance number. They never do a gag based on this so I guess we weren’t supposed to notice but this wasn’t shot live and they easily could have cut around it.

That's Martin ducking off screen.

    This show was aired on December 19^th, 1968, right in the middle of that season’s run. He would take the next week off then start right back up at the beginning of January. It lacks any Sinatras (kind of, we’ll get to that) but does feature Dom DeLuise, Bob Hope, Bob Newhart, and oddly enough Dennis Weaver presumably there to promote his hit film ‘Mission Batangas.’ No, I’ve no idea either.

    Looks like the creepy masked Santas are being used as a rough framing device because we cut to the featured players as various Santas for sketch comedy purposes. DeLuise is a charity bell-ringer getting punched in the stomach, Newhart is a mall Santa whose wife shows up to leave him (he reads a bit too obviously from the cue cards here and the scene has a punchline that frankly he’s too good for), it’s very ‘Laugh-in’ level material.

    Martin finally rides back in on a fake sleigh. He rattles off a list of jokes he clearly doesn’t think too much of because he stumbles around the edges of the punchlines and plays with the timing much the same way a professional baseball player will fiddle with a bat when he’s on deck and bored.

    After the first set of credits he’s back on the set singing ‘A Marshmallow World’ and although he’s flanked by a couple of The Golddiggers (they’re a story unto themselves, think of them as the resident singers/dancers/eye candy/punchlines) he’d clearly rather have Sinatra from the year before. If I hadn’t previously been aware that he did little to no rehearsing and just riffed in the moment when doing these shows I’d have started to suspect it when he makes a hand flourish, notices his nails, starts fussing with them, and has to be prodded to start singing again. I’m beginning to suspect the money as the main reason he kept doing these shows.

He tries to escape a lot.

    Next we have Bob Newhart in a sketch where he returns a toupee to a department store and the energy is very strange. Newhart, in playing the customer, is very much his normal, under-playing awkward self while we have Martin as the returns clerk. Now Martin was famous for playing the straight man to Jerry Lewis but Lewis was all explosive energy and wacky mannerisms, the exact opposite of Newhart. For Newhart’s part to work he has to be playing the funny straight man to someone clueless or push his awkward persona into funny without ever winking at the audience. Martin doesn’t work for either of these because his entire bit revolves around constantly letting the audience know he’s in on the joke and coming right up to the edge of crashing the entire bit without quite going over. I genuinely didn’t think it’d work but they rather quickly dispense with the ostensible material and while sticking to the script turn it into a game of chicken to see which can make the other break character the most. Martin keeps up for a little bit but Newhart eventually fully starts improvising and just plows right over him, at one point sniffing to a guffawing Martin, “Well, this might be funny to you, sir,” which in comedy like this might as well be a declaration of victory.

Newhart vanquishing Martin.

    After a number by The Golddiggers by themselves they’re joined by Martin to do that weird sexy ‘daddy’ thing which I want no part of, so moving on to Dom DeLuise as a beat cop hassling Santa for parking his sleigh on the street. It’s not a bad bit and ends with Santa being arrested for attempted bribery. The next sketch is DeLuise and Martin wearing apparent copies of the bum outfit Crosby wore in his special for a quick gag before it’s back to Ken Lane and his piano bit before opening the door to reveal Bob Hope in a Santa hat. He makes a couple of jokes about Martin’s drinking then thankfully leaves.

    DeLuise is getting a lot of screen time this special as next he’s in an office-party sketch, which in 1968 were still a thing and involved alcohol and sexual harassment as punchlines. It’s a silent sketch and features him as a nerdy pencil pusher and an equally nerdy secretary where the rest of the office has apparently decided to get them drunk in order to hook up. They sneak him booze and laugh at his antics which includes pawing at a female coworker so this is all going well. Martin comes in as the boss and DeLuise starts getting aggressive about treating the secretary as ‘his,’ there are some physical altercations, he gets fired, the secretary feels sorry for him, and apparently he gets the girl in the end. Lots to unpack there, not interested in the least, moving on.

    Next we’ve got a bunch of kids on stage and Martin says they’re the children of the show’s staff. He tries to ask them a few questions but being actual children they just start making noises and going off script and to his credit Martin seems genuinely surprised and amused by it. He then introduces Dennis Weaver as being from ‘Gentle Ben’ so I guess his presence is now explained. Internally I always have him pegged as his character from ‘McCloud’ so seeing him without a mustache is very confusing. He sings a song with the ‘help’ of the children who all have instruments they ‘play’ when they get pointed at. It’s cute for what it is.

The kids manhandle him pretty well.

    Bluuuurgh, and we segue artlessly into the medley. Was that really all the Newhart we’re going to get? This is just everyone on stage from various angles with Dean playing it straight for once. It’s not for all that long and then we’re back to donating toys for needy children, which does indeed seem to be a thing the show did from year to year. An absolutely too-long list of famous people do talking heads to camera listing various hospitals benefiting from the toy drive. Here’s where that Sinatra technicality comes in as he makes a quick appearance among the heads. Martin comes back to thank all his famous friends for “dropping by” even though from the backdrops they could not have move obviously been shot at other places at other times. The cast and crew wish us a Merry Christmas into the closing credits.

Pretending to professionalism.

    I feel mixed on this one compared to the previous year’s. It didn’t have the happy surprise of how game a performer Sinatra was but it also didn’t force the rest of their families on us. I’m actually a defender of DeLuise back in his prime and I guess I’m happy there’s one breakout scene with Newhart rather than a bunch of tepid special guests. This feels more like a special episode of an ongoing show rather than a stand-alone, which is very much what it is so I guess I can’t complain all that much. The inclusion of Dennis Weaver still feel inexplicable to me, though, and I’m starting to fear that Martin is going to start phoning it in before too long. He’s clearly still making it fun for himself at this point, I’m wondering how long he can keep that up.

An image I could not deny you.